Okay. Today may very well be the best day of my LIFE. Bold statement, I know, but it's not every day that a super-sleazy-yet-somehow-still-popular celeb writes a song using math as foreplay. That's right, believe it! Chris Brown's track, "Add Me In," off of his newest album "X" (not getting the greatest reviews fyi - hmmm I wonder why). My fave quote about Brown's sleazy attempt at sexifiying math comes from Vulture Mag's Lindsay Zoladz who writes:
"I love the Stevie vibes and sultry arpeggiated synths and of "Add Me In," but Brown cock-blocks himself with some tragically corny lyrics that amount to a never-ending epic metaphor about … math: “Your love is trigonometry … Substitution / Add me in / Multiply by love / Is that too much?” It’s plenty, Breezy, thanks."
Think I'm overreacting and that a song can't possibly be THAT bad? Check out the lyrics for yourself!
Add Me In
Your body's an isosceles And I'm just tryna try angles Your love is trigonometry Just tryna solve the whole equation
What's it about you (about you) I wanna love you Picking you up, picking you up So I can touch you Should we do that? Can I do that? (baby) Answers are usually in the back
Substitution, add me in Multiply my love Is that too much? Substitution What's the problem, girl? Add me in
Baby just add me, baby just add me in Baby just add me, baby just add me in
I'll calculate her home invasion Divide your legs and count to 3 (3, 2, 1, come on) He's just not the answer baby And that's just my hypothesis
Girl if I said I loved you, I need you Would you care? So many things that I could learn Baby if we do the math, it will equal up to me!
If you've made it this far - riddle me THIS: "Answers are usually in the back." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! EW!